Ugh

Do you know what it's like to be eaten away at by passion?

It's a constant desire to do, to feel, to relive, to live and it's driving me crazy in a mixed up good bad awesome frustrating way.  Sorry for all the repetition, it's just that there's no single word to describe this.

I want to spread myself out to make everything come true.

Creativity

Recently I've been feeling great urges to Verb.  I want to do everything, try every single thing out.  What's getting me the most is kind of silly...  I want to write a trance album.  Nothing too spaced out, think DJ Onyx.  I haven't tried writing music in almost a decade (doesn't that kind of sentence make you feel old?).  But I've got some stuff to work with.  I've also been drawing a lot more pictures, but none are quite finished yet.

I'm not sure what I should do first, since all seem to have equal urgency on my list of wants.  So I keep ending up spastically switching between things with extreme focus until something in the real world pulls me away.  Last night I was late to pick up my boyfriend from work because I was so busy working on my food website and editing all sorts of different pictures.  I feel like my drive to be awesome is coming back, though it is hard to fight the laziness (damn you Baudelaire!).

Ranting

It won't always be so ranty.  It won't always be so sad and frustrated and angry.  Everything's a phase.  And even if life is what it is except for the distractions, there are at least the distractions.

People are strange

I have been feeling so weird lately and I'm having trouble putting words to it.

But it won't always be like this, sorry to be a let down for the moment.  It will get better.

It's very hard to be honest, so I might end up doing this whole angsty, mysterious thing until I open up a little more.

L is for...

These next couple of posts might  be a little depressing.  So sorry about that.

I haven't been able to talk to anyone because I don't trust anyone.  I know it's not my issue because she was only my friend (not family) but still, we've known each other since elementary school and I loved her.  I haven't even written anything because I've been overcome with this feeling of lethargy.  There's no point to anything right now, so I might as well distract myself with childish video games and cartoons, right?

I can't trust anyone, no one knows the whole story, everyone I know has been lied to and I can't stop now.

I might come back to this one day and be less vague, but probably not.

Ingenuity

And that's not a bad quality at all.

I'm not an alcoholic or anything, but any sort of strife (yes, the lack of a cork screw can constitute a sort of strife) can lead to great things.

(See I'm not just trying to dumb things down; there's still a moral.)

Web Comics

Recently I've been able to relate to a lot of web comics and it's been making me think more and more of venturing down that path.  Though I do doodle quite frequently, I've never done it with any consistency or theme or even style.

I wonder if a pointillism web comic would work...?

I probably wouldn't go that far.  I'd either end up scanning things in or getting really good at MS Paint again.

UPDATE:
Probably not here actually.  I'm in the middle of prepping for a different site to put web-comic-like doodles and pictures up.  Once that's going I'll give you the address.

UPDATE AGAIN:
Here's the url.
http://candymantis.blogspot.com/
I update it even less than I do here, but I hope that will change soon.  I have tons of hard-copies of drawings that I just need to scan in.  I guess that's what days off should be for.